it's hard to believe that much time has passed.  You'd be 5 years old now, but to me you'll always be my sweet little 2 year old boy.  Each day does get easier to survive but I still miss you just as much. Days like today make me wonder how you and Cyenna would get along. You'd be the best of friends ... I know it!  She's starting to get excited for Christmas this year. She's starting to feel the magic of Santa Claus and that makes this Christmas a little more fun for Mom and Dad.  Although it would be so much better to be able to see the excitement in your eyes on Christmas morning after seeing what Santa Claus  left for you under the tree.   Cyenna talks about you all the time... it's like she knows you... but we do make sure she knows who you are and I'm sure she'll grow up loving you and missing you just as much as the rest of us. We love you soooo much and so wish you were here with us right now. Today was such a horrible day three years ago that I don't even want to think about it.  Nobody should have to go through that pain. I read in tha paper today that a little 3 year old girl and her mommy died yesterday and left Daddy all alone. watch for them and give them some big hugs and kisses.

We love you and miss you like crazy my boy.
biggest hugs of all to you.
xo2xo2xo2xo

Merry Christmas

I can't believe you'd be 5 now... such a  big boy.  Your sister is getting to be such a smart little girl. She asked us the other day if she was going to get to meet you on our way up to see you for your birthday. Mom and dad didn't know what to say.  It's so hard to explain death to little ones.  She comes up with us all the time to see you but has never asked to meet you yet. I guess the hard questions are starting now.

Aunt Marggie is up there with you now... watch for her to give her your special hugs.  Everyone loved your hugs... I miss them.

We miss you so much baby boy... we'll love you forever and ever...



Love Mom
xoxo2xoxo2xoxo2xoxo

If words alone could comfort... I would write you a novel

I can't believe you've been gone today as long as you were here. I still miss you as much today as I did on that horrible day you slept somewhere other than with us. I would do anything to hold you in my arms again and to smell your hair as it tickles my nose from your hug. Even just for a moment... but then it would hurt too much to let go again. I love you so much my baby boy. I always have and always will.

love forever, mom
xoxox2xoxoxo2xoxoxo2xoxoxo

today you've been gone for 2 years... but only your little body. I can't believe it's been that long already. It seems like just yesterday I was holding you in my arms as they told me you were gone. I wish I could have those days back...

Cyenna has finally made it past the 2 year 2 month 2 day mark. She is now older than her older brother. The anxiety of that upcoming day wsn't good to my mind or my body but at least it's over and she got over that hurdle. I've been think of you a lot today for more than the obvious reasons. The day Cyenna turned 2.2.2 a girl that helped me after you died, also passed away very unexpectedly. She helped me through my emotions of losing you more than she probably knew. Make sure you watch for Jody and help her find her sister who is already with you.

life just seems so cruel and unfair sometimes... I miss you like crazy and will love you forever.

mom
xoxo2xoxo2xoxo2xoxo

Happy 4th Birthday my sweet boy!! I wonder how tall you'd be now, how well you'd be talking, how well you'd get along with your little sister. I know you'd be everything perfect... your sister is folloing in your footsteps. She's just as perfect as you were. I miss you so much, it's not even describable. I wish you were still here so we could have a big party. Instead we're all going up to see you at 2:22 and sing you Happy Birthday. We did that last year too. It'll be something we'll do every year I'm sure. It will be just that unspoken thing that everyone knows to do, go up to say happy birthday and I love you.

I miss you so hard it hurts.
love mom
xoxo2oxoxo2oxoxo2oxox

Hi Baby boy... your sister is two today. We're having her party on Sunday though. Hard to believe she's creeping up on 2 years 2 months and 2 days. I guess soon she'll be older than her older brother. Maybe that's why I've been cranky these past few days. It should be a happy day, but I just can't be happy. I love you like crazy and miss you like mad. I wish I could hold you in my arms one more time... and not let go.

love mom
xoxoxo2xoxox2xoxox2xoxoxo

Hi baby boy.  Your little sister is starting to talk quite well now.  She  says "wub ew" when someone tells her they love her. I figured I had to tell you that the other day mom decided to go up to see you in the blowing, pouring rain.  Cyenna was with me but I left her in the car because it was so miserable out and she hates the wind. I just wanted to check on your flowers but when I got back to the car she was crying her little heart out screaming your name.  She wanted to go up to see you too, so mommy had to go back up with her so she could kiss your picture and tell you she wubs ew, she was happy after that.  We all web ew baby boy. xoxo mom

So my dear baby boy, today is my first day writting you a letter on line.  Daddy is going to the camp with Grampy, Uncle Monty, Uncle Dennis and a whole bunch of the boys. This is the trip that daddy was really excited to bring you on some day when you were old enough... but I know you'll be there watching.  I've been having a hard time without you lately... and I don't know why it's harder than usual. Maybe because your Auntie is getting married and I know how much she wanted you to be her ring bearer.  The wedding is going to filled with butterflies for people to remember you by. It's going to be hard for all of us with you not there. This is such a big adn special day for her.  I miss you so much it hurts... I keep waiting to not hurt anymore but it doesn't stop.  It just lessens some days more than others.   I have to go get your sister from day care soon... she likes it a little better then you did I think.  She's saying your name now, when she points to your pictures. She's so beautiful, you guys would have been such good friends. I'll love you forever baby boy.... Mom xo2ox2xo2xo